


Help me Learn to Heal

by pok3d3x



Category: Pillars of Eternity
Genre: Awkward Romance, Canon-Typical Violence, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Injury Recovery, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recreational Drug Use, Shipper on Deck, Slow Burn, no editing we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-21
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-12-27 07:24:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21114974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pok3d3x/pseuds/pok3d3x
Summary: Edér didn't mean to get Aloth into a bar fight, but he desperately wants to help clean up the aftermath. This awkward night sets in motion a slow build up of emotions Edér can't place and Aloth denies until it becomes apparent to both that there just might be something there. On this dangerous adventure of being by the Watcher's side, the most gentle of times to further this burgeoning relationship are the times after conflict when it's easier to lick one's wounds with a friend's company and help. Iselmyr helps as much as she hinders, but is definitely on board.





	Help me Learn to Heal

Edér blotted the corner of Aloth's mouth and jaw with a cold, wet rag, cleaning the dried blood and new cut. He pulled away anxiously as Aloth exhaled through his teeth with pain.

"Sorry, Aloth, didn't mean to cause you no pain," he said softly, brow furrowing with worry.

"No, don't mind me," the elf quickly insisted. "I'm fine."

Edér frowned, unconvinced, but continued gently dabbing at Aloth's thin jaw. A ragged cut in the shape of a sharp ring forcing its way through flesh was not a fun wound to clean, but Edér had certainly seen plenty worse during his time as a soldier. Much like the buddies he'd patched up then, Aloth's eyes were unfocused as he pressed the cool rag back to his jaw in gentle passes.

Aloth had to be far from fine after what transpired that night. "You wanna talk 'bout what happened back there?"

"No," Aloth answered simply, glaring at the human and daring him to try making him open up again.

"Well, a man's secrets and what not are his own, but I'm offering as a friend. To listen, should you need it."

Aloth rolled his eyes and looked away, to the far corner of the inn's tiny room. Edér had brought him back to his room, and he'd been too shocked to make the sensible choice and just retreat to his own. The man had been mumbling something about "fixin' him up right good" or some similar nonsense, and Aloth had let him start cleaning his wounds because he didn't have the wits about him yet to know what else to do. He stayed now because… it was kind of nice to have someone care for his injuries like this.

"I apologize," Edér said so quietly Aloth wouldn't have been able to hear it if they weren't sharing each other's breathing space. "You know, for my part in it all."

"Please, that kith was looking to start a fight, and I'm an easy target," Aloth dismissed.

"Oh, and why do you say that?"

"I clearly practice magic," Aloth stated, then let his gaze fall to his hands in his lap. His fingers wrung nervously, and he didn't expound any further.

"Plenty of folk practice magic," Edér said, calling his teammate's bullshit unabashedly.

"Well, sure, but I practice and look… bookish."

Edér nodded to himself, accepting this additional excuse and conceded," Sure out of sorts in this neck of the woods, I s'pose."

"And…"

Edér stopped cleaning for a moment as he felt the trepidation in Aloth's form. He held Aloth by the back of the head to keep him steady as he worked, and he could feel the muscles in the back of his neck go taught. While he'd expected Aloth to be generally uncomfortable during the whole cleaning session, the way he grit his teeth before sighing even with a busted face made Edér's heart sink.

"She doesn't make it easy, you know," he added under his breath.

The human's brow was a knot of worry and guilt, and he piped up nigh instantly," Right, and that's where my apology comes in. I was egging you let her loose before that man with a stick up his—"

His voice was measured—it had to be— as he interrupted," I can handle gentle ribbing, Edér. You were being a nuisance at worst, and certainly not to blame for my… snapping."

They both fell silent as Edér finished his work. It didn't take much longer. Aloth had only taken one crooked punch before falling to the floor like a sack of potatoes, and Edér had been at his side to ease his fall so he didn't bludgeon himself on a stool or collect any other injuries.

"I never seen you freeze up like that," he said as he turned away to soak the rag in now ruddy water. 

"She, er, doesn't always stay long enough to get me out of the trouble she stirs, and I'm afraid I'm no fighter. Not like you."

Aloth paused as he considered the likely objection Edér would make and expounded dryly," I can't exactly throw a fireball like you throw a punch and expect to leave some tavern a free man."

Edér pondered this and hummed to himself. "Never thought of it that way," he said as he rinsed his hands in the same water as the rag and dried them on his tunic. He chuckled at the sour turn of Aloth's expression, glad that Aloth was at least feeling better enough to be disgusted by his lack of decorum.

Now that they had some distance, and Aloth was calming down a little more, he noticed the dark hue of Edér's left hand in the flickering candlelight. "Did you really just clean my injuries while your own hand is in such a dreadful state?" So much of the night had been a blur, but now that edges of the world were sharpening around him, all he could see was the bruised excuse for a hand of the man that had spent nearly the last hour taking care of him.

"What, oh, this?" Edér held up his hand and looked at the swollen mess. "S'nothing. Itumaak is just too cute not to try'n pet."

Aloth raised one eyebrow disapprovingly. "You are going to lose a limb to that beast and no one will be surprised."

"This is just a love nip, I assure you."

The wizard hummed dismissively and didn't press it. Thinking of how swollen his own cheek must be, Aloth raised a hand tentatively and pressed it to his face, grimacing at the warm lump hardening into a definite goose egg. It was hard to swallow as bile threatened his careful control over his expression.

"I… ne'er seen you freeze like that," Edér repeated after a hearty silence.

"He looked a lot like—well, it doesn't matter. Thank you, Edér, for your help." Aloth's voice was light and indecisive as he got to his feet stiffly, going through the motions. He was feeling dizzy, but fighting and failing not to show it. His hand ghosted his cheek once more, appreciatively pausing over the cleaned cut and moving to smoothing his hair back diffidently.

Edér held out a hand in the direction of his friend, but kept a distance as he remembered Aloth didn't like to be touched. "Hey, if you don't want to be spending the night alone…" His cheeks began to warm up and he stifled his offer. Aloth would certainly brush off such an intimate invitation. Edér withdrew his hand and awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck as he mumbled," Sorry. I'll let you be."

Aloth's brow grew taught, and he observed the human silently for a moment. Light flickered over his defined features harshly, the broad strokes of muscle and chiseled features belying his gentle nature. He wondered if he came off so cold that Edér felt abashed for even thinking to offer his company.

"I _did_ just have a close encounter with a raging drunk who wanted to, quote, 'rip my pointy ears off and shove them where the sun doesn't shine'," Aloth said with a bit of nervousness pulling his vowels taught.

"You put way too clear of words in his mouth for an inn like this," Edér said with a chuckle, and then deeply sighed. "Hopefully I did a number well 'nough that he won't be bothering you none more."

"Thank you for that. Again. I don't…" A helpless feeling of being out of his depth made Aloth clam up, embarrassed.

"Course. What are friends for if not for getting friends out of hot water they placed them there in?"

Aloth remembered a time he would have been slapped across the face for ending a sentence so improperly, though he would have been slapped for phrasing something with perfect diction and grammar too. 

He must have been dwelling on his thoughts, because when he blinked, Edér was standing in front of him, looking like he wanted nothing more than to place a hand on either of his shoulders and offer soothing words. Aloth took an instinctive step back and crossed his arms in front of himself.

"I'm fine," he bit out, but the tension in his shoulders told him he was lying. He wasn't sure if it was Edér or himself he was trying to convince.

Edér nodded his head at the withdrawl, and put his hands in his pockets as he took a step back himself and looked to his feet. "Ne'er said you weren't. I was just try'n to figure out if I should ground you or let you well be. Your eyes were somewhere else."

"That man. The drunkard…"

Edér looked up slightly with one eyebrow raised, but wisely remained quiet.

"He looked a lot like… I could use the company if you're still offering." Aloth's thoughts were racing, and he wanted so much to seclude himself, but he knew he would be weak to Islemyr's influence if staying alone in the inky night, letting himself relive his darkest moments as they were sparked in his memory by the night's transgressions. 

Edér was so surprised at the words coming out of his sorcerous friend, he didn't initially understand them, and had to replay them in his mind before he nodded. "Yeah, 'course. You can take the bed 'n I'll help myself to the floor."

"I couldn't possibly ask you to take the floor in your own room. I can—I should—I'll be…" Aloth bowed his head and turned about, ready to leave the room with haste in his tongue-tied embarrassment.

"You don't gotta hide your feelin's 'round me, y'hear? We been through thick and thin beside the watcher. It's okay to ask for help. It's okay to want… a friend to help you get through a bad day, night, or what have ya'."

Aloth froze where he stood, turned away from Edér and ready to bolt, but… He looked over his shoulder and said," It sounds so easy when you say it, to bare your soul on a whim. I'm burdened with two, and try and fail to maintain a tight wind of control on either." If his voice became slightly bitter, it was surely only a fraction of the resentment he really felt.

Edér remained silent, having no inkling of how to respond. His eyes flickered to Aloth's, but quickly fell to the bruising jawline he'd cleaned. "I guess, for some, it is. I know it's not always so simple, but I'd like to think you know you can trust me. You don't gotta go 'baring your soul' none if you don't want, but… you can. Or not, or maybe just tell a story."

Aloth sighed a joyless laugh. "A story…"

He looked ready to leave again, and Edér didn't want him to. He didn't want Aloth to be alone any more, especially tonight. His mind frantically thought of what he could say that might make Aloth stay. "Or I could tell a story," he offered before even considering his words.

Edér scratched the back of his head and looked to his boots. "I mean, I'm not real good at storytelling none, but…" He glanced up to Aloth with surprise as he heard a small chuckle.

"A story it is."

Edér couldn't fight the goofy grin that promptly took root. "A story, right. I can do that."

Looking around the small room timidly, Aloth softly commented," I can't really remember the last time I was told a story when it wasn't a megalomaniac delivering a vexing soliloquy." Guilt clawed at his stomach as he thought how the last time he'd listened to a story eagerly, it had lead to following Thaos into the ranks of the Leaden Key.

"Well, I don't think I can manage a soliloquy, so you're safe with me," Edér said with a gentle laugh, not sure of the exact parameters of one, but sure he wasn't equipped with the elegance.

_You're safe with me…_ Aloth's knees felt suddenly weak, and he took a few unbalnaced steps towards the bed so when they gave out, he sat down safely.

"Woah, there. You good?" Edér asked as he croached down with helping hands, only backing off as Aloth nodded.

"Yes. Quite." Dizziness passed over Aloth again, and he hoped he didn't have a concussion. He pushed himself back further and rested his head on the lumpy pillow this backwards inn provided and closed his eyes. 

"You sure you feeling alright? How many fingers am I holding up?"

Aloth calmly replied," There is zero chance of getting me to open my eyes right now." He was surprisingly comfortable, the stiffness in his neck and shoulders finally ebbing in favor of relaxing. _You're safe with me_, and for once, it felt true. He couldn't remember a time in his life feeling as… secure? It probably _was_ a light concussion that had him in such a hazy headspace right now, but maybe that was just what feeling looked after was like.

Edér sighed, but wore a warm smile. He sat on the edge of the bed, near Aloth's feet to avoid being too much for the introvert. "I guess you don't need your eyes to listen to a story. Alright, let's see here, a story…"

His story was of an easier time, a day before the war drove him and his brother apart, a day were his greatest care in the world was simply getting a good day's work done so he could eat a home cooked meal with his family. It was a silly anecdote of his farming days and a prank between siblings turned upside down.

Aloth's breathing was even before long, and Edér hummed to himself contentedly. The human gently pulled the inn's hole-ridden quilt over his friend. As he stood up and stretched, a voice startled him enough to reach for the dagger he wore at his belt when out of armor. He managed to recognize the voice in time to avoid pulling the dagger from its sheath before turning around.

"Islemyr," he greeted in a hushed tone," A surprise."

"Oi, ya blether. It cannae be that big'o yin when you be haverin' on in talkin' ta' me all this braw night."

A bit heartier of a laugh than Edér had allowed himself most of the night broke through. "I s'pose that's fair. Thanks for saying hi."

"That's giein me the boak if up and keep it, but aye, I'll say 'ello."

The smile pulling at Aloth's mouth was wan, but spirited, and Edér couldn't help but return it. Talking to Iselmyr made him long to talk to Aloth, and vice versa, but seeing any warm emotion on the elven face helped assuage his guilt after this night.

The irreverent grin Iselmyr was prone to promptly soured, and she murmured," Noo on the chance of bein' a glaekit wain, I wanted ta' thank ye."

"A what?" Edér asked for clarification, a bright amusement lighting up his smile. He loved the nuanced frivalty of Islemyr's vocabulary.

"Dae mean a dunce en'n yer words, my guy silly wain."

Before Edér could comment any further, she added," Noo jist haud yer wheesht, jist let me blether'n say thank ye."

"For what?"

She opened Aloth's eyes to give Edér a pinched look and said, " Ah dinnae ken, but ye shor shut down that mad wi' it bampot that started a fight whit' him'it laldy."

"Well, o'course I helped, when it was me who started it, an' all," Edér dismissed, feeling he'd been a much more negative impact than positive one this night.

"Lang may yer lum reek," She cooed sarcastically. "I jist meaning that I thank ye fer helpin'in his hackit states n'all. Shor widae a took a skelpit en'da ringer, if'n ye didnae stop him. He's bonnie noo."

"You're… You sure you doing okay? He seemed a bit woozy after the fall."

"Tis' nae baw's on the slates. He'll be fine, just a wee bit blootered righ' noo."

Aloth's face darkened, which could mean nothing good when piloted by Islemyr. "Jist could o' been a might worse'n'f ye didnae jumped in when ye did, ye ken?" She paused and added in Aloth's lightest voice," Thankin' yer'n all." She seemed a tad vexed trying to explain her gratitude, but the sentiment rang true.

"O-of course. I'm more'n happy to help."

She pulled Aloth's mouth into a frown. "The diddy can be a right scunner but ah hate tae see him dicht tae the ground 'cause o' me. Ye look'n out fer 'is well-bein' means a lot."

She cut him off before he could offer his platitudes. "I'm a sleep'n noo, but ye keep'n me words'n mind, ye hear?" It was clear she had little energy left to stay awake, especially in Aloth's physical state.

Edér nodded, but realized she'd closed his eyes again, and added vocally," I will."

A small smile came to Aloth's roughed up face, and Edér found his own smile returning. Untying his bedroll from his backpack, Edér set up camp beside the bed and fell asleep soundly.


End file.
